OPINION: Nigerians Don’t Need Government, They Can Do Everything On Their Own

Editor's note: Emeka Nwankwo, Naij.com guest author, states that we Nigerians have developed an indifferent attitude towards the government activities, preferring to do for ourselves what the government has refused to do. As espoused in the article, this is not the Nigerians' fault, as it is the primary duty of the government and its agencies to provide the necessities to the citizenry. The article also contains different situation where the Nigerian people are on their own.

"OYO culture" in Nigeria  

Have you, like me, ever wondered if pledges in Nigeria resemble those things we learned and recited in primary school in order to avoid the teacher's wrath – usually in the form of a cane? A string of words that we recited without a tinge of passion and forgot upon leaving secondary school. When will Nigeria make a pledge to defend its citizens? "To love is to give and to receive," said Chimamanda Adiche, a popular Nigerian author. Is our love to the fatherland one-sided, where one gives but never receives?

It is no longer love when one sucks the life out of the other and leave them to the mercy of fate, it is pure parasitism (do not take parasitism for patriotism). You see, we Nigerians have unconsciously accepted the culture of On Your Own, also known as OYO in the Nigerian parlance.

OYO is your case if…

If your landlord or father decides that you have had enough of your bullshit, he will call the internationally revered Nigerian soldiers to teach you the lesson of your life. You should know in advance that OYO is your case, because those soldiers, who have no business with domestic issues, will show you how fine they've been dealing with the northeast wahala.

The fear of siren on the Nigerian roads is the beginning of the road wisdom. Even if the siren is coming from a hearse or just one man in security uniform driving the vehicle, please, clear the road or you will have a firsthand understanding that civil rights in Nigeria make sense only on paper. OYO is your case if you've decided not to give way to the "real owners" of the road – I cannot even imagine what will happen to you. In short, if you are driving and hear a siren, please, don't waste your time trying to find the source of it, just clear the road for your safety's sake.

It doesn't matter whether you are guilty or not, once you've been caught by the police, OYO is your case, my brother. You either agree to the ignoramus and baseless accusations, leveled against you, to stop the beating you'll definitely be enduring, or simply bring a gift. You are lucky if you get just one, because usually both are required. No lawyer can save you, especially if you're a "nobody".

OYO is truly your case if you are home alone, and a medical emergency occurs. Or if your wife is going to deliver in the middle of the night. Pray that your neighbor has fuel in his car, and that the road is in good repair. It is only in the movies that ambulances are called when an emergency occurs, not in the real Nigeria. Thank God you have made it to the hospital. Hope the doctor knows what he is doing. OYO is your case if he does not (I heared most of them would have made a fortune as butchers).

OYO is our life

It does not matter what your social status is in Aba, the commercial nerve of Abia state. You just have to understand that dirt and filth is a way of life that you have to get used to and make the best out of. Once again, OYO is your case.

Please, keep matches out of the reach of children, they don't write that on the back of the match boxes for nothing. However, if the NEPA (or is it the PHCN? What is it called these days?) decides to observe their long-standing tradition and switch off the electricity, you can send your child to light the kerosene lantern or candle, but, please, let there be a bucket of water. OYO is your case if you think you can call the firefighters. Trust me, you have more water than them. And, for heaven's sake, buy a rechargeable lantern – it is 2015, keep up with the times. 

The funny thing is that there has been no electricity for several weeks, however, the NEPA officials have come to read meter. Truly, OYO is my case.

If you have been staying in a Nigerian prison for more than six months, pray that your case at least gets to the magistrate court. OYO is your case if you are released 10 years after incarceration for a crime you did not commit.

Sometime I get confused by the government officials. Who is busier – a gum-chewing secretary or the Oga entertaining his girlfriend inside an air-conditioned office? OYO is your case if your proposal – or whatever – does not come in a white envelope.

It does not matter whether you have a diploma with outstanding grades. OYO is your case if you do not possess the street smarts or connections to get a job.

If you bought a soft drink and found something that should not be in it, do not worry. It is not a contaminant or anything unhealthy, it is just a free gift from the manufacturer. OYO is your case if you decide to complain. Trust me, the SON and other regulatory agencies are busy – doing nothing – with other important projects.

OYO is your case if thieves decide to visit your neighborhood. You either hire a private vigilante group or try the Nigerian police – after all, their service is free, just get prepared for some miscellaneous expenses. However, note that they must be paid in advance.

Perhaps, Fela Kuti had a molecular biologist's foresight, as far as he was able to recognize the presence of the "suffering and smiling" gene in Nigerians. In the face of seemly insurmountable task, we have learnt to live above it. It becomes as if governing is "their" business, as the ordinary Nigerians have learnt to protect themself, provide electricity, health care and the basic amenities for themselves. We have become independent entities residing in a sovereign state. We are truly on our own. God help us.

The views expressed in this article are author's own and do not necessarily represent the editorial policy of Naij.com.

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OPINION: Nigerians Don't Need Government, They Can Do Everything On Their Own.